Saturday, May 7, 2016

The check is in the mail

Today's warning: Watch your junk mail!

Every week I rake in a big weekly pile of sales flyers. Tops, Rite Aid, CVS, Dash, a whole pile of them get delivered in a big bundle in my mailbox. Sometimes they go direct to the recycling bin. Although, OK, I do tend to hold onto Tops, CVS and Dash.

But anyway. Today I am going into the entrance way, where I bring in the mail, and what do I see on the floor but an $18 wine rebate check.

Some schuft had stuck this rebate among these junk sales flyers.

It could easily have gone into the recycling!

Howard and my brother George were eating breakfast when I realized this and began kvetching about it. And George said: "That's part of it."

Meaning, that is part of the manufacturer's strategy of lowering the odds that you actually get your rebate.

I have carried on about this before. Getting a rebate is like running an obstacle course. You have to not lose your receipt, not lose the form, fill out the form, get all the numbers and letters right when it is something like, Rebate 4958TLL4556, Dept. 9900886GH, Cinnaminson, N.J. Rebates always come from there or from Young America, Minn., ever notice that?

Is there even actually a town called Young America? I do not know but I am going to fight my curiosity. That is probably also part of it. They hope you will Google that and try to find out and get distracted and forget all about your rebate.

Anyway it goes on and on. Your final test is to get the envelope stamped and into the mail by the date specified in the fine print.

And if you -- ta da! -- have done all this, you have fought the good fight, you have finished the race ...

...  you have to receive your check.

They make that check as small and insignificant as they possibly can. It is like a tiny postcard. If it falls into the pile of junk mail, they have won and you have lost.

Outfox them!

Check your junk mail!

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