Tuesday, April 14, 2009
Yo ho ho and a bottle of bourbon
At the family Easter the conversation got around to pirates. You know those pirates. They operate out of the pirate city of Eyl. In the lawless state of Somalia!
Above is a picture of the pirate port of Eyl. Which, I have to say it took me forever to find it. Perhaps they take your camera, Eyl being lawless.
What about Billy Lawless? He is the sculptor who did "Green Lightning."
Back to the pirates in the lawless state of Somalia. In the pirate city of Eyl!
I mentioned the pirate city of Eyl to Howard and he said, "Sounds like fun!"
Which led to an argument our family had Sunday over the ham and collard and turnip greens and roasted potatoes and sweet potatoes. You knew I was going to brag about my Easter menu at some point. I was proud of it!
We argued about the term "pirates," whether it should be applied to these thugs preying upon our ships.
My brother George and I thought they should be called terrorists.
But Howard and my sister Katie said no, that they were not.
I still do not understand why they would not be terrorists. But it is rare for Howard and Katie to agree on anything. I do not think they have ever agreed on anything in the history of time because my sister is this left-winger and Howard is so conservative he is like Newt Gingrich's twin.
So George and I took our cue from pirate shoes...
... and we buckled.
Hahahahahaha! Here I am on my first cup of coffee yet I am so witty! I am as bad as Leonard Pennario and his corny jokes. He used to kill me and now I am the same way.
Where was I?
Eventually our dinner table agreed that the pirates could be called thugs, which is what they are. Our worry is that the term "pirates" awakens a sympathy and sense of humor, which in this situation it should not.
These thugs do make for dandy conversation, as long as your loved one is not over there being held hostage.
At the funeral I went to on Saturday in Perfectville we talked about the pirates. That was before Captain Phillips was rescued and a whole group of us were crowded in the kitchen, discussing the situation in loud voices. The ex-wife of the deceased joined the fray, and so did someone's teenage son. Someone opened a 14-year-old bottle of bourbon and everyone was pounding shots and yelling about the pirates and what should be done.
How is that for an 18th century scene?
But we have to remember, the pirates do not look like this ...
... and they most certainly will not take a bottle of rum and go and frolic with you on the beach the way Johnny Depp did with what's-her-name in "Pirates of the Caribbean."
These pirates do not look like a load of laughs. Pirates are less attractive when they are armed with semi-automatic weapons. That is for sure.
Yes, we should call them not pirates, but what they are. Thugs. If you want romance, click on the Pennario link up above.
It is Pennario playing some mighty swashbuckling Liszt!