Wednesday, August 18, 2010

Me and the big, bad bank

I am very famous today because my name appeared in The Buffalo News in a First Niagara Bank ad listing people in town who have Unclaimed Funds.

It is the craziest thing! Because, you know, I write for the paper. And I can write all kinds of stories about this and that and there will always be people who come up to you in Budwey's or wherever and say, "So, are you still working for The Buffalo News? I never see your name in the paper."

Sometimes my mother even says that to me! And I say, "Mom!! I only wrote five stories this week!"

But boy, get your name in the Unclaimed Funds ad and everyone sees it!

Why bother writing about Leonard Pennario? This is the way to fame! I was the talk of the newsroom today, plus people keep writing on my Facebook page about it. The best comment came from my friend Pete. He wrote:
Mary, if that's you at the bottom of page D10 in the news, we are ready to celebrate with you.
Ha, ha! Look at that funky font. That is because I cut and pasted. Too funny!

Anyway, this would all be completely funny but as it is it is only 75 percent funny. That is because yesterday I sat at First Niagara Bank's North Buffalo branch trying to figure this all out. I knew I had this problem because they had sent me a letter I had misplaced. I had tried calling them about it weeks ago and they told me they had no information. OK, I thought, I have to be there in person. So I went into the bank in person.

I presented the proper IDs and you would think they could just call up your name, and see all your accounts, and there would be a red light or something blinking next to one of them, saying: "Danger! Money in danger of being turned over to the state!" But no!

First Niagara, which is supposed to be our ahem, neighborhood bank, could come up with nothing. The nice girl I talked to called headquarters, probably in the big bustling metropolis of Lockport. She was on hold forever, during which time, this being Buffalo, she and I exchanged life stories. Her name was Denielle. One thing I learned was she was quitting First Niagara in two weeks. So she was a lame duck and it probably should not surprise me that after she told me someone would call me back, nobody ever did.

See that picture at the top of the page? At the right you can see me leaving the bank empty handed.

Hence my unclaimed funds.

I have been trying for a month to reclaim these funds!

You would think I was dealing with some bank in China!

Oh well, at least I am finally famous.


Larry said...

Bank or Post Office?

Unknown said...

That's nothing compared to the fame
you will have when your biography
of Leonard Pennario is published!

Mary Kunz Goldman said...

Jim, you crack me up! The book is getting there!

Mary Kunz Goldman said...

Larry, this time it is the bank that is my nemesis. I just go through life making enemies...

Larry said...

Haha, I do not feel that it is really making enemies as much as it is your special knack to get into the most interesting, difficult, and, funny situations, all over. They all make for wonderful delightful.