Oh, oh, an oenophile

Whenever I go to the liquor store I discover marvelous things. But recently I have found something great and something for some reason nobody talks about.

Low-alcohol wines!

I mean low-alcohol red wines. Dry red wines, too. Not Lambrusco. Don't you love when you walk into a bar and they give you Lambrusco? That still happens in Buffalo, in some places on the East Side which, I do not want to admit I go to these places, so I will not name them.

But I will name the magical new wines I have found.

There is this cheapie wine from California called Tisdale that you can get for about $4 or $5 a bottle which is how I ended up with it last week. I took a bottle of Tisdale Cabernet to my mother's house and I had a glass and so did she.

Then I took it home to Howard and had another glass.

Then I had a little more because what the heck, Howard does not drink wine, so someone has to drink it, you know?

Right about then I realized something: You can drink and drink this Tisdale and not get drunk! Well, I have not really pushed the limit so I cannot say for sure. But one thing I do know. A couple of glasses of wine and that is usually it for me. From experience I know that if I go ahead and drink more, I run certain risks. I might not sleep well. Or I might start listening to my Leonard Pennario records and getting all weepy. Or both! Here is a painting someone once did of me listening to Leonard Pennario and crying after I have had too much wine.


With Tisdale none of this happens! And I found out why.

I looked on the label and it is only 12 percent alcohol.

Whereas I checked other bottles of wine and they are 13.5 or 14 or even 15 percent.

You would not think that a couple of little percentage points make a difference but oh, they do. Listen to me, doing the Pennario "but oh." I used to love how he used to say that. Anyway, I did a little research and one story in Forbes, I think it was, said that that little drop in alcohol can make the difference in whether you are drunk and whether you are not.

I am not saying that if you drink Tisdale you can get out and drive after you have downed a bottle. That is NOT what I am saying! I have to throw that in there, pardon me, excuse me.

But I am saying that I like these kinder, gentler wines, that taste good and do not knock you flat. That is a cliche we have not heard in a while, "kinder, gentler." I am bringing it back.

Does anyone out there in Oenophileland know any good low-alcohol red wines? I have found a couple. There is Tisdale. Highly recommended! And I also went through my, ahem, wine cellar and found a wine from Spain called Tatu. It is just 11 percent!

Then there is an Italian cheapie wine called Gina. The label is very beautiful. It is red and gold and says "Gina, Merlot Delle Venezie." With pictures of roses.

What about Gina Bachauer? Here is a picture of her with the British oenophile Sir John Gielgud.



Tisdale's labels are pretty too. They show a bird in a tree. Observe the Tisdale label at left.

Ha, ha! I love what the back label says.

At Tisdale Vineyards, we know that life is full of quality experiences. We want you to take the time to savor them. ... Perfectly paired with your favorite salad, pasta or grilled meat, we invite you to enjoy Tisdale Merlot and share in life's endless possibilities.

I am going to start packing up these wines and bringing them to parties so everyone drinks them and no one gets drunk and starts teasing me about Leonard Pennario and calling him Leonard Pinnochio. Note to out-of-towners: I live in a terrible city where people get drunk and behave like that. It has happened to me on a number of occasions.

Now I have the answer.

'Tis Tisdale!