The restaurant at the end of the universe

Do you ever have a day when you have bad luck with restaurants? That happened to me yesterday.

My sister came over and we walked around Delaware Park and then we wanted to go somewhere and eat. First we thought of Santasiero's down by the river. It was such a beautiful, cool, breezy night.

Then we got to Santasiero's. How do you spell that name, anyway? The computer keeps questioning it. Then again I do not know why the computer would know the name Santasiero's. It does not know the name Pennario.

Anyway, at Santasiero's we had problems, No. 1 being that it was inside and air-conditioned and there are times when you do not want or need that, and No. 2 being that it did not take credit cards. You would not believe how much cash I had with me. I had $1!

So we thought we would go to the Swannie House. They have a patio. That was downtown but my sister said no problem. Surely there were good options closer. Now I am wishing I had thought of Mark Goldman's new place in Black Rock. But I have been having one of those weeks when I cannot think. I am underslept and I have what I think of as brain burn -- too many thoughts in your mind all at once.

Downtown we go. And what do you know, the Swannie's patio is playing host to a private party.

What in the world?? The bartender said it never happens, that this was the boss's daughter, something like that. Thanks, that and $2 will buy me a Genny Light.

Now we feel like the Flying Dutchman, wandering the world. Long story short, we wound up at Pearl Street. They have a patio there that is not too bad. Although, this is funny, Katie and I were joking that the view of the patio, with its brick, hanging plants and cast-iron railing, is prettier than the view from the patio, which is pretty much parking lots and cloverleafs.

No wonder going out to eat stresses me out! I was thinking about that.

First of all, in the summer, Buffalo does not have enough patios. Most places have no outdoor eating.

When they do have patios, everyone else in town has had the same idea to go there, and so you have to grovel and pray to get a seat.

When they do seat you -- well, maybe it is me, but the host or hostess almost inevitably shows me to the worst table. I do not know what it is! I always try to dress nice and look nice. I think they are under orders to try to fill up the worst tables first. Anyway I am always on edge about this. I expect a fight! And usually I get one.

All this hassle makes your own back porch look awfully attractive, you know?

Why didn't I just eat there? That is what I was thinking last night.

Oh well. Today is a new day.

Three whole new meals await me!