Tuesday, December 28, 2010

This bites

On top of everything else I broke my retainer yesterday.

"That'll be $300." That is what my friend Melinda told me at work.

How did she know a retainer cost $300? I asked her that.

"Everything costs $300," she said.

Son of a snaggle-toothed sea cook! I keep replaying the moment in my mind, the moment when I broke my retainer. It could have been avoided. The trouble was, when I wake up in the morning, the first thing I do is take my retainer out and brush it off. You brush it with a toothbrush. I was not awake and I scrubbed the retainer a little too hard and a little piece in the back snapped off, the part that fits over two back teeth.

Zut alors!

From the beginning, the retainer has worried me because it is not this metal robust thing you picture. It is just a thin plastic case that fits over your teeth. That is it pictured above. You could wear it around and people would not notice. Howard did not even know that I wore it. "You're still wearing a retainer?" he said.

I said, "Howard, uh, yes!"

In the future I will change my routine. I will not scrub out the retainer first thing in the morning because how are you supposed to do anything right when you are not awake yet? That flimsy thing, it is a miracle it lasted this long.

Still I keep replaying things. In my mind I go back over yesterday morning and in my imagination I retain the retainer. I am careful with it and I do not break it and I am not looking at spending $300. I get this way. It is because I am a biographer. Being Leonard Pennario's biographer I am always going over and over things.

Today, anyway, it is off to the ortho.

On the bright side it has been a long time since we talked about teeth.

It is way overdue!

1 comment:

Prof. G said...

I guess retainers just aren't made for a sleepy Teutonic power brushing.