Wednesday, December 22, 2010

O Tannenbaum

So... my Christmas tree.

I did not have one last year and I missed it. The reason I did not have one was that I was not having anyone over to see it, plus I was too busy with the book and everything. It is funny how a year passes and here I am, still busy with the book. Leonard Pennario, the project that never ends!

But I missed it, you know? It just was not right not to have a tree, even though I tried to rejoice in January when I did not have to take it down. I just missed my Christmas tree.

Which brings me to this past Sunday. I go to Mass. It was the fourth Sunday of Advent. I felt like this loser because here it is the Fourth Sunday of Advent and here I am with no tree. I go dance Zumba. Then I am heading down Kenmore Avenue and my car swings as if by its own accord into the parking lot of that nursery there.

There were three tabletop-sized trees and I selected one. It cost $25 whereas the one next to it was $20 because it had short needles and was a prettier tree.

It was also bigger than I had expected! I saw that when I got it home. It made me remember when I brought my Steinway home. Here I had stupidly thought I was buying a baby grand and when the piano movers looked at it one of them said, "That's no baby grand." And I was like, "Huh?" Well, that was a long time ago. I was not yet the brilliant woman I am now.

I guess this tree could stand on a table but that would be pushing it. It would be like me standing on a table. The other thing is, I could not get it into the stand.

I had thought I had my act together. I had found my stand in the cellar, neatly bagged up. But when I tried to put it together I could not. Parts of the stand were missing, and the bowl would not fit in the other bowl. Back down to the basement -- aha, I knew I had another stand! I take the new stand upstairs. But it was for a much smaller tree.

So now here I am in complete Christmas emergency mode. I tried calling stores. I called Valu and Target to see if by any chance they had an unsold Christmas tree stand. At all stores, with no exceptions, the hired help took great and obvious pleasure in telling me they did not.

Schufts! Oiks! If I were a store owner and people wanted Christmas tree stands, I would have a million of them, you know? Give the people what they want!

Well, all this was wasting too much time. I had blown what, two hours, on this stupid project? I took the tree and put it in the back yard, in the snow. If I kept it inside, at this rate it would dry out. I resisted the impulse to fuss with the stands one more time. I went upstairs to work on the book and that was what I did for the rest of the day.

When Howard came home I was like the typical wife. I expected him to fix things. Howard was so kind and he looked at the stands and explained to me that one was too small and the other was missing parts.

Then he suggested he could make me a Christmas tree stand!

"We have a wood shop," he said.

What an angel! Howard said he would make me a stand the next day. I was not sure he would get around to it but it was nice of him to consider it.

Monday I come home from work and the tree is gone from the back yard. My first thought was, someone probably lifted it. My second thought was, that is probably just as well.

But it was standing in the front sun room!

Howard had managed to assemble a stand from the parts of the two stands and there it was.

Am I a lucky gal or what? Now all I have to do is decorate the tree. I have all the ornaments and stuff sitting right there. Now all I need is the requisite hour or so.

Perhaps tonight!

It is a funny thing about us women and Christmas trees. We have to have one but we cannot usually install them ourselves. One of my friends also got a tree this week but she had to call up an ex-boyfriend and have him come over and put it up.

Men .... can't live with 'em, can't live without 'em.

Just like Christmas trees!


Bingles said...

Howard is a gem!

Prof. G said...

Once in a while we slobbering knuckle dragging degenerates are useful.

Mary Kunz Goldman said...

Ha, ha!!!!!