Medical miracles

Ay yi yi, the dentist yesterday! This is the second week in a row I have had to go to the dentist. My normal dentist is out of town, or perhaps he is fleeing me. So I have this alternate dentist who shares his office.

Last week this alternate dentist was full of the blues as she looked at my teeth. There were two cavities. Things did not look good. A root canal might be needed.

But it was not! Two cavities, two fillings, I was out of there and shopping at Aldi's before I knew it. And everything seems fine to this day in that corner of my mouth.

However, yesterday I drive to the dentist, la de da, feeling good, listening to Leonard Pennario playing the Debussy preludes, when zut alors, as Debussy would say. I am in danger again of a root canal!

Only time will tell. Then the dentist starts explaining everything to me. I was reading People magazine with all this dirt about Brad Pitt and Angelina Jolie and I just could not be bothered. "It's OK," I said. "I don't need it explained. I will just do as you say."

She patted me and said, "You are a model patient."

I am that!

Speaking of which, the good news about my dentist appointment being yesterday is that I am free today to go to Mass for the Feast of St. Blaise and get my throat blessed. I have enough tooth problems. I do not need throat problems! That is for sure.

This is funny, the whole time I was growing up, I do not remember having to go to church exactly on St. Blaise's Day. They would bless our throats after the Sunday Mass that was closest, is what I recall.

I kind of like now that they are sticking it to us. Here I was at two Masses on Sunday, and at neither one did they give us the St. Blaise blessing. You have go to Mass on the Feast of St. Blaise. That is today. There are no shortcuts.

My mother on the other hand went to cushy Christ the King out in Snyder and they not only blessed their throats but they did it en masse, so to speak. Meaning, I guess, that the priest raised his hands and gave the crowd the blessing from the altar all at once. As they used to say in Monty Python, oh, you're no fun any more!

The city is more fun. We have to show up in person on the appointed day and then it is individually done. They put the candles in the V around your neck. Here is a picture of the powerful and ancient ceremony. Tomorrow this will be me!

Too bad they do not light the candles any more. It was great in grade school when people's hair would catch fire. "Per intercessionem St. Blasii liberet to Deus a malo gutteris et a quovis alio malo." That means "Through the intercession of St. Blaise, bishop and martyr, may God protect you from all ailments of the throat, and all other evils." "Gutteris" is a great word. It must mean throat. Hence the word "guttural."

Then you walk away and ponder what just transpired.

And that guttural pain in the neck...

...it is gone!

St. Blaise is one of the 14 Holy Helpers. He is not to be confused with our friend Chuck Mancuso's Uncle Blaise. Chuck is making a movie about him called "Seven Days With Blaise." It tracks his uncle to the OTB and I forget where else. Perhaps to Fourteen Holy Helpers Church!

I should really go there tomorrow.