Bitchin' in the kitchen

As if I do not have enough stress in my life this terrible Cooking Light magazine has shown up. I do not know why I get Cooking Light. They dropped the price down so low I said yes, is what happened.

This Cooking Light, the March issue, all it does is yell at you!

I do not have the actual magazine in front of me. I have memories of throwing it across the room. But I can tell you what is in it. On the cover, it has this headline, "Fifteen Mistakes You Make as a Cook." Something like that. Maybe it is 10 mistakes, maybe it is 20. I do not remember nor do I care.

The actual article is unbelievable. They print each sin you commit in huge letters, so it jumps out at you.

"YOU DO NOT CHECK YOUR OVEN TEMPERATURE."

"YOU DO NOT TASTE YOUR FOOD BEFORE YOU SERVE IT."

And this boring old thing:

"YOU DO NOT READ THE RECIPE BEFORE YOU START TO COOK."

It goes on and on. Page after page!

Who needs to be yelled at like this? It is stressful and unattractive. You do not want the magazine to be this god while you are this nothing. If you cook, as I do, you do not normally go around beating yourself up. I screw things up from time to time, but in general, I think I do pretty well. I do not need their enlightenment.

Smite them, O Lord, with a skillet!

I am starting to think Cooking Light is hitting the skids. When I used to get it before it was better. It was not that long ago. I was still getting it when I went to California to see Leonard Pennario and this is funny, I have been rediscovering the issues I missed when I was gone, and they are pretty good. I continued to get the magazine for a while after that. I lapsed only maybe six months ago.

When I started getting it again, recently, I was alarmed. The design is different. When a magazine is redesigned it usually means they are in trouble. They have a new editor. And here is one thing, they now have tons of pages devoted to stuff you can buy. They'll have a page of hot new cooking implements, another page of new cookbooks, another page of new dishes and glasses, etc. They must be getting advertising money for this.

They also have a new section on food you can buy. How to know which fast-food pizza is best for you, how to choose well when you are dining out. Zut alors on this advice! Isn't the whole point of this magazine that I would like to do my own cooking?

Naturally with all these innovations they have fewer recipes. And they put the index in the front, where it is hard to find it, as opposed to the second-last page, where it used to be. Things like this irritate me!

Cooking Light is going down.

You heard it here.