Tuesday, March 3, 2009

Bad consumer! No credit card!

Remember last week when I junked my Macy's card? I, uh, guess that was a mistake.

Because I cannot get another credit card!

I got turned down by M&T and HSBC. Both of them! I did not read the whole fine print, I confess. I lost patience because I wanted to go back to listening to Leonard Pennario. There are all these new Pennario performances up on You Tube and I have been eager to get to them all.

But the gist of my problem, I would guess, is twofold. No. 1, I had this HSBC card that screwed up because when I went to California to get with Pennario, I had thought I had paid this card off. I was wrong. When I paid it off last month it was a whopping $50. Probably originally I just owed $2.

And No. 2, there is my old nemesis the library. I have a bunch of books overdue on Bernstein and Rubinstein and whoever. If I bring the books back I will owe $100.

Which, let me get this straight.

All those people living in Amherst mini-mansions who defaulted on their mortgages get to keep their houses? And here I am with no debt at all and my house completely paid off because I live across from the zoo with boom cars out front and people down the street yelling "OH MY GOD YOUR BUTT IS HANGING OUT" and schufts slugging it out practically in my back yard but oh, I am the problem.

That "but oh," that is a habit I picked up from Pennario. You have to say it in just the right snotty tone of voice. Which, believe me, I am doing right now.

I shop at the Broadway Market and practically live on dried beans and went to UB instead of Wellesley even though Wellesley accepted me, let me tell you that. I have never bought a new car. Not only that, I eat leftovers! I keep seeing people quoted in the paper who apparently think they are too good to eat leftovers. Has anyone else noticed that? What is with that?

Because of all this economy, I even have savings, in, you guessed it, HSBC and M&T.

But oh, I am the problem, with my $50 screw-up and my handful of library books.

It's the truth. It's actual. What is with me these days? I cannot stop quoting the Sherman Brothers.

Wow, how funny is this? I just watched that silly clip and here I am feeling so much better.

Credit card, Schmedit card.

Who needs it?


Anonymous said...

Time for you to go back to college. Within two weeks you'll have six offers for credit cards jammed in your mailbox--despite a crushing student load debt that you'll likely default on within five years of being handed your liberal arts ("Would you like fries with that?") diploma.
Glad I could be of help.

Budd Bailey said...

Sounds like it's time for a visit to freecreditreport.com to see where you stand. It's free and easy. Do Howard's report too.

I don't think the library fees are an issue, by the way.

Unknown said...

As an aside to Budd Bailey's comment, the site is actually:
http://www.annualcreditreport.com where you can get a FREE credit report from each of the 3 credit bureaus, and you can get the reports every year. The other site is a con job that lets you THINK you will get the credit report for free. I would highly advise getting a copy of all 3 of your credit reports, you might be in for some unfortunate surprises. I also have to say, that you are getting a real eyeful of the reality that we all now live in. Poor schmucks like us that TRY and play by all the rules usually get the ROYAL shaft in the end, and many others that REALLY ABUSE the system, seem to make out the best. As far as the library books go, they would usually and most probably NOT be a problem, but with the amount you owe, they may have very well turned that debt over to a collection agency, (I have heard of that happening), and if that IS the case, that would then have a negative impact on your credit report.

Mary Kunz Goldman said...

Oh, dear!

Anonymous said...

1. shocking wellesley accepted you.

2. not shocking that you'd be drawn to an 'only women' college.

3. also not shocking you'd bother to brag about being admitted to a college you didn't in fact attend.

Mary Kunz Goldman said...

Oh, Anonymous, I was just kidding!