Saturday, March 7, 2009

10 Things I Do Not Understand

There is this thing written in my kitchen calendar that cracks me up. This is the calendar I got from church. The January page talks about the Trinity. Here is what it says: "The Holy Trinity is the central doctrine of Christianity. It is a mystery and is not susceptible to human comprehension."

What about the Trinity Episcopal Church White Elephant Sale? That is not susceptible to human comprehension, either.

Today I found myself thinking about other things that, in my life at least, are not susceptible to human comprehension. At least to comprehension by me. I can more easily understand the Trinity than I can these 10 things. Ahem.

1.) Why I never see my daffodils, pictured above, coming out of the ground until they are two inches high (which is what they are, yay!).

2.) The big long complicated news story about Valerie Plame. I think she is the woman pictured at right. I am not even sure. That is how confusing I find that whole thing.

3.) In Catholic news, the business about the Society of St. Pius X and whether or not their Masses are legitimate (yes and no, says one thing I read) and whether their bishops are legitimate (ditto). Who can sort all this out? Forget it!

4.) How to open those liquid soap pumps and get them so they give you the soap. Howard always has to do that for me.

5.) This thing called "Disparity of Worship," helpfully alluded to by Anonymous commenter the other day. Anyone want to try to figure this out? Better you than me, as bartenders would put it here in the fine city of Buffalo, N.Y.

6.) French numbers. I gave up on these back in high school. As I remember, you go by tens until you get to 70. Then it is 60-ten. And 90 is 80-ten. That is what I remember anyway. That was the point I gave up on the French language. Leonard Pennario, right, could talk French very well and used to tease me about that.

7.) How to blow-dry your hair the way they show you when you get it cut. You would think a woman who can play Beethoven's Op. 109 would be able to blow dry her hair but the truth is, I just can't.

8.) Why the price of dried beans has tripled and is not coming down like the price of eggs and milk. Am I turning into my mother?

9.) Why people still buy bottled water considering these are supposed to be such hard times.

10.) What is this thing called love?


Anonymous said...

Disparity of Worship:
I think Joe Niagara is twitting you about being so "old Catholic" and marrying outside the faith. Apparently he thinks marrying someone Jewish makes you a closet liberal. I dunno...I remember a lot of moaning about "mixed marriages" from my elder relatives when I was a kid. Next, they'll be busting your chops for not having a dozen kids...

No pleasing them.

Budd Bailey said...

A comic once said there are only three questions that matter:

1. Why are we here?

2. Is there a God?

3. Who let the dogs out?

Mary Kunz Goldman said...

Budd, but you are an inquisitive mind!

Anonymous said...

Oh Prof i'm sorry, I forgot the Catholic's keep changing what is a sin.

Anonymous said...

On # 10, What is Love:

Quote from Arthur Schnitzler: " No spectre assails us in more varied disguises than loneliness, and one of its most impenetrable masks is called love."

From Buch der Spruche und Bedenken p.117 as quoted in Clive James' book Cultural Amnesia p. 700.

Sorry to be pedantic, but I want to give credit.

Unknown said...

10 things??? I know I have probably 10,000 things that I don't understand.

Unknown said...

I neglected to say, I am very glad to be able to be back reading your Blog Mary. It has been a rough 2 weeks and I see I have a ton to catch up on!!!!