The other day when I went to the dentist I came home with lots of teeth freebies. It felt like being a little kid. I had this baggie and I excitedly cracked it open when I got home and spread everything out on the bathroom counter.
What I found most exciting was this kind of toothbrush I never had before, with a conical attachment that snaps in and out and cleans between your teeth. But there was also a small tube of whitening toothpaste. And a little bottle of Listerine mouthwash that I couldn't open because of its child-proof top. And those floss loops that allow you to string floss beneath your braces. I already bought special floss that allows me to get under there without loops, but I hoard the loops anyhow.
I have become fixated on my dental paraphernalia. When I'm in drugstores I detour to the dental aisle and buy all this stuff. I have all kinds of fancy floss now, and various whitening compounds, including this Listerine whitener that I can't use because it tastes like paint, but I display it in the bathroom anyway. You know who in music history had a teeth fixation? He was always polishing his teeth. You will never guess. Here is a clue: He is a major, major figure. I will reveal his name in a second -- meanwhile, you can try to guess.
Combing the drugstore I sometimes discover other interesting things. Recently I was in CVS, in the hair aisle. I was looking at Scunci stuff. You know, they make all these girlie things, like barrettes and headbands and scrunchies.
What did I see but a do-rag!!!???!!
All nicely packaged, and they spelled it with a chic umlaut, if I remember correctly. Du-rag, with an umlaut over the "u," something like that. (I am German and you would think I would be able to do an umlaut on the computer but I have no idea how to do that.)
Who knew that do-rags were made by Scunci?
Next time I am walking down Bailey and see a man wearing a do-rag, I am going to imagine him walking into CVS, finding the hair accessories aisle, and finding his du-rag (with an umlaut) among all those headbands and barrettes. Because surely that is what happened.
Imagine what it would do to gang culture, if word got around.
hi. this is george honduras! i heard brushing your teeth can prolong your life. My sink is now my fountain of youth!!
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