Wednesday, June 26, 2013

The 10 Things That Don't Go To Goodwill

The Things That Go To Goodwill:

1.) Ruffly, itchy thing.

2.) The shoes that felt good on my feet when I tried them on at Marshall's but pinched the minute I got them out the door.

3.) The green skirt that while pretty never quite looked as if it belonged outside of the St. Patrick's Day Parade.

4.) The dress that's nice but it is too hard to put on.

5.) Perfectly nice sweater, just ... never wear it.


Why Certain Things Get a Reprieve From Goodwill:

1.) My mom liked me in it.

2.) Howard liked me in it.

3.) Leonard Pennario liked me in it.

4.) If it does't fit now it will some day.

5.) I never wear it but I've had it so long that I'm sentimental about it.

6.) I might want the buttons some day.

7.) Once I donated a dress and felt bad about it later and went back to the Goodwill looking for it and it was gone.

8.) If I hang it on the door it will encourage me to lose five pounds.

9.) The label reads "Von Mozart."

10.) On account of you never know.

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