Sunday, November 15, 2009

Rubberband Woman


We had our company party last night! It was our Guild party. Above is a picture of me arriving at the Guild party. I had the photographer cut off my head so you would not see the braces on my teeth.

The good news is, I did not end up with a lampshade on my head. The bad news is, I was one of the last people to leave. Then this morning I go to church on no sleep. I open my mouth to sing the Asperges, I have lost my voice!

I am afraid that too many people asked me the magic question: "How is your book on Leonard Pennario coming along?"

With these rubber bands in my mouth it takes a lot of effort to talk. But where there is a will there is a way and so when people asked me about Pennario, I talked.

And today I paid the price. Well, there was no one around today to talk to anyway. It was just me and the book.

I have three days until my next ortho appointment when I will find out what is going on with these rubber bands. They are a trip! I have had them for a month.

When I am out at restaurants I have to run to the ladies' room and take them off before I eat and run back and put them back on afterwards. It is not a terribly unpleasant task. But it sometimes takes me forever because they flip off and go flying all over the place.

Inevitably someone walks in while I am struggling with them. I have a stock line for such occasions.

"Please ignore me and my orthodontia." That is what I say.

It usually goes over big with my visitor telling me about the time that she had braces or her kid who has braces.

I have started to notice people and their teeth.

The Kennedys.


Howard.


Burt Bacharach.


And you cannot say his name without also saying the name of Hal David.


My ortho has said my braces will probably be off by Christmas. I cannot wait!

I will look like a TV-head.


I will eat with my new teeth like never before.


I will have to have a party!

5 comments:

Brian J. Walker said...

I think you should be proud of your braces. At least they prove that your teeth are real. Better orthodontia than dentures.

Marta said...

Every time I see a rubber band, I think of you! This is not a bad thing, mind you. Au contraire! Re: teeth. I want Gray Cat's. (I'm sure they're so gorgeous he doesn't want to intimidate mere mortals by showing them.)

Libby Maeder said...

Oh, Mary. When you finish the book on Leonard P, please write another. A 365 Day a Year Meditation on Life. One of these wonderful pieces each day really starts the day off right for the rest of us! Chelsea Handler who?

And - isn't it amazing how when something is up with your teeth/mouth, you become very aware of the ease with which others eat? ... Read MoreIf you've ever watched Sex and the City with a throbbing tooth (I have) you are amazed and envious not of the sex, but of the salad eating! So casual, so effortless, fork waving in the air to emphasize the point between cold, crunchy bites.

Good luck at the ortho and can't wait to hear all about it.

Libby said...

Oh I have more! Burt Bacharach is my boyfriend. The only fan letter I've ever written. I was 13.

Larry said...

Knowing that is gonna be an awesome party! I bet Gary will be hit!