The morning that got away

Today I had an "I Love Lucy" morning. That is why I could not check in!

It started when the phone rang at about 8 a.m. I was working on my book, I was up and everything, and I answered it, because often it is my friend Gary or my brother George. But it was not! It was this tree cutter.

He was cutting a neighbor's trees and he wanted to cut ours too, something like that. At first I told him he had to talk to Howard but later after I had had my coffee and a shower I relented and called him back and apologized and said go ahead, have his way with our trees, we did not care.

Howard takes forever getting up. It is as if he is on California time and I am on Eastern Standard Time. That is how far our schedules are apart.

At 9 a.m. the doorbell rings. And I figure it is the tree cutter.

But zut alors! I was wearing just this bathrobe and my hair is wet and I did not want to answer the door like that. I went flying upstairs and Howard was just getting up.

He said: "Go answer the door and tell the guy he can cut our trees."

Darn, I was hoping he would do it! I go flying downstairs, tying the bathrobe more securely around me. This is Leonard Pennario's bathrobe, the bathrobe I am always talking about. I tied it tighter and then I answered the door.

And it was not the tree-cutter.

It was my friend Diane!

She was back from the dead!

My friend Diane had throat cancer and went to the Mayo Clinic and she was there for months and almost died. Now here she was on my doorstep. I could not believe it. "Diane!" I yelled. We hugged each other and then she came in and I got her a cup of coffee.

And this is funny: Normally I would not have answered the door but I thought it was the tree cutter!

So Diane and I talk even though now I am getting worried I have to get in to work because I have a heck of a week this week, I will tell you that. I have a ton of stuff to do! It is almost hopeless. Of course Dianne sees things differently. She says once you get sick that is all that matters.

"Your job, everything, is crap," she said.

I am thinking, it might be crap to you but unfortunately it is not to me, at least not in the short term, it isn't. And it is not to my editors either! I mean I cannot exactly call the office and say, "Excuse me but I have realized my job is crap, and I will not be in until noon."

Right when I was pondering this the doorbell rang again. And it was still not the tree-cutting guy!

It was Larry Solomon!


Standing there on the step with his vacuum cleaner. And Diane, you could tell she loved it. What in the world is this, her face said.

I ushered Larry inside and the first thing he did was somehow break MY vacuum cleaner which was inside the house. He managed to break it and then he started winding duct tape around it.

Now here it is something like 10 and I am still standing there wearing nothing but Pennario's bathrobe. "Why is your hair wet?" Diane asked me.

"Because I just got out of the shower and I washed my hair."

Because, uh, it is a weekday morning!

These people with life-changing experiences, don't they kill you?

By the time I was able to get out the door and go to work the tree-cutter had still not gotten there, can you believe that? Howard was downstairs by that time. I left him sitting on the couch, eating oatmeal, with Diane. Both of them were talking eagerly about health issues.

Ergo, no Web log this morning.

Ergo, Web log now.

Great therapy, this!

What a crazy day I have had.