Sunday, October 5, 2008

The 2,000-lb Steer in the Room, and other stories

Yesterday being Saturday, I took a break from working on my book about Leonard Pennario and I picked up my vegetables from my Community Supported Agriculture (CSA) farm, Porter Farms. And I got a surprise.

I got this leaflet with my produce. It advertised the 5th Annual World On Your Plate Food Forum.

That's for me, I thought. I am all for having the world on my plate. Then I look inside, and there's this list of workshops. You would not believe the title of these workshops. Vermi-Culture, is one. Ecccch! Then there is Food and Peace. We Need Food Not Bombs. Raising Chickens at Home. Vegan Lifestyles. Medicinal Herbs. And my favorite: The 2000-lb Steer in the Room.

Presenting these workshops are organizations including the Western New York Peace Center and, and I quote, the Indigenous Women's Initiatives, which "seeks to empower Native women of all ages who reside within the Haudenosaunee or Six Nations Iroquois Territory," and...

Excuse me? Can't I just eat my Purple Broccoli and Dinosaur Kale (no kidding, that was what was in my bag this week -- I already ate it) and can't you people get off my back?

Who asked for a side of sermon?

I happen to think we need bombs in addition to food. Let us hope we do not have to use them but as long as other people have them we have to, also. Sorry. Food will not stop Al Qaida from attacking us. And about that 2,000-lb Steer in the Room -- I am making a pot roast tonight, just for that.

Well, enough politics. It is time for the October supernatural story of the day. Republican and Democrat, Liberal and Conservative, we are all united by our love of creepy stories, whether or not you consider World on a Plate to be one of them.

Once I had a dream about Beethoven that was really weird.

It was about five years ago. I won't go into the details because that would be long and boring and who wants to hear about anybody's dreams. But at the end of it when I was waking up, Beethoven pointed to the air a little to the right of me and he said in this bossy and commanding tone: "Whatever happens, I want you to know one thing. I am going to be right here!"

Right after that I awoke and I was just flattened against the bed. You know that kind of dream. You are just kind of stunned. You can't move.

I am not about to assert that was Beethoven himself in my dream. I was listening to a lot of Beethoven that day, as I do every day, and I think I may have had a glass or two of wine.

But sometimes, in tough situations, I sometimes find myself glancing to my right.

Herr van Beethoven, are you there?

It's me, Mary!


Colin said...

Poor baby -- assaulted by opinions different than your own!

Way to heap scorn on indigenous people, too.

Mary Kunz Goldman said...

Oh, Colin, I was just kidding around. Let's be friends. I like your blog. I like your picture of Holy Angels! Leonard Pennario went to that school.