The attack of the cookbooks

Lastnight was the night my cookbooks revolted.

I have this closet off my back breakfast room, where we usually eat dinner. Up to four people, we eat in this room, and if there are more, we move to the dining room. Well, this closet is full of cookbooks. They are lined up in a three-shelf bookcase in the closet and there are more cookbooks piled on the top of the bookcase. I have too many cookbooks, my mom always tells me. But I use them! Which is more than can be said for a lot of things around the house.

Anyway, I cooked up those steaks yesterday and I tried my best, four minutes one side, four the other. They came out nicely pink and I served them up with roasted golden beets from the farm I belong to, sauteed beet greens, steamed green beans. Listen to me, sounding all fancy. Ha ha ... HA, as they used to say in Laurel and Hardy.

Because Howard and I agreed as we ate that the steaks were good, but next to the great, the almighty, the powerful E.B. Green's they were just, uh, so-so. Howard thinks I am on an upwards curve. But maybe if I went to another store, checked another recipe...

Suddenly the closet door flew open! And cookbooks came flying out!

As Howard put it, my cookbooks lunged at me! Luckily they missed me. They landed in a heap at my feet.

This morning, still a little shaken, I went to St. Anthony's. That is the church I go to, and where by coincidence Leonard Pennario's parents were married. By clicking on the St. Anthony's link you can see the picture that Howard got of my location thanks to the GPS unit he has installed in my car. Howard is like God. He is watching me every moment. (Editor's note: Please rotate the GPS image 180 degrees with your mouse to see St Anthony's. For sky view click here.)

Back to my churchgoing morning. After all my pious reflections yesterday, I am ashamed I was so out of it today! I thought I was off to such a good start, getting to Mass 15 minutes early. I got to pray a little bit of the Rosary. I had time to get my head together. The Latin Mass is tough. You have to be on the ball. Today was the day I decided I would be on the ball.

Again: Ha ha ... HA!

Because I got completely lost! I could not for the life of me find the right Sunday in my missal. I had no idea where we were! The priest announced that today was Triumph of the Cross Sunday. Triumph of the what? I kept leafing through my prayer book in bewilderment. Then I just gave up because it gets embarrassing, looking as if you're lost.

I never did find my place. And just to make things extra hopeless, in the middle of the Agnus Dei, something fell out of my missal onto the floor. It was my ticket to Robert Levin's concert at UB last week. What the heck was that doing in my missal? That has been the story of my life lately. Nothing where it should be. Everything is a mess. Triumph of the Slob Sunday, that's what today has been for me.

On the bright side, when I got home I got my act together and read the supermarket ads. Dash Markets has a sale going this week on Aged Prime steaks. $14.99 a pound. I know, that sounds scary, but usually it's over $20 a pound, I did the math. Howard says we should go for it.

I will have to consult my cookbooks and make sure it's OK with them.