Monday, July 7, 2008

Summer wishes, winter dreams

Remember what Mia Farrow says in "Hannah and Her Sisters"? "My needs are enormous."

That is the way I feel these days.

Right now I am thinking about tomatoes. Every summer, it feels like forever until they get here. And it's funny, the magazines that come to the house always seem to operate under the supposition that we have homegrown tomatoes starting in June. I do not understand that. On what planet do they have fresh homegrown tomatoes in June? And there is nothing more boring than a hothouse tomato.

So I sit, and I wait. And I get more and more impatient. I mean, white beans were fun for a while. You can throw some fresh sage in there -- I do have that in the garden, though I have to dig into the bishop's weed to get at it -- and pretend you're in Provence. But now I want to start digging into those recipes that are being thrown at me from all directions, calling for eggplant and peppers and tomatoes, as if we have them, as if they're ripe.

There must be some inner emptiness in me I am trying to fill. (Just what I need, one more excuse to eat.)

Howard pointed out to me lastnight I am in a weird position. We are both grieving over losing Leonard Pennario. But Howard can take his mind off of him by touching up the bricks at Big Blue. Whereas I can't. I have to keep writing about him and thinking about him. Writing about Leonard is a mixed bag for me these days. Sometimes it makes me feel better and sometimes it makes me burst into tears. Like that Chinese kid Leonard and I saw in that restaurant. Ahahahahhaa!

This whole Pennario adventure, I would do it all over again in a second. There is that song by Edith Piaf. I wish I could write it in French but my French is awful. Pennario used to tease me about that. What did Piaf sing? I have no regrets.

Still, these are strange days.

I must have tomatoes, at once.


Anonymous said...

Non Je Ne Regrette RienNon, Rien De Rien, Non, Je Ne Regrette Rien
Ni Le Bien Qu`on M`a Fait, Ni Le Mal
Tout Ca M`est Bien Egal
Non, Rien De Rien, Non, Je Ne Regrette Rien
C`est Paye, Balaye, Oublie, Je Me Fous Du Passe

Avec Mes Souvenirs J`ai Allume Le Feu
Mes Shagrins, Mes Plaisirs,
Je N`ai Plus Besoin D`eux
Balaye Les Amours Avec Leurs Tremolos
Balaye Pour Toujours
Je Reparas A Zero

Non, Rien De Rien, Non, Je Ne Regrette Rien
Ni Le Bien Qu`on M`a Fait, Ni Le Mal
Tout Ca M`est Bien Egal
Non, Rien De Rien, Non, Je Ne Regrette Rien
Car Ma Vie, Car Me Joies
Aujourd`hui Ca Commence Avec Toi

Anonymous said...

another Chinese kid remark? Mary your xenophobia is showing again, but we still love you.

Anonymous said...

If you'd referred to the crying kid as a Jewish brat or black kid a brat guess what, it'd have a. sounded Anti-Semitic or b. anti-black.

Would you have been so quick to describe the annoying kid as a black kid or a Jewish kid?

It's something to consider.

michael - being xenophobic is one of the various things killing the Broadway Market - they're too close minded to court the Somali, Muslim, Vietnamese community. Instead they'd rather have a check cashing operation open up.

Being xenophobic is also one of the things keeping Buffalo down. TO our neighbor to the north has done a fantastic job of marketing to immigrants and has outpaced Buffalo as a truly cosmopolitan city.