Trying to keep my head together, I have started writing lists of "Things I Have To Do Today." On today's list is stuff I have to do for work, a card I want to get my thoughts together to write... and I love this, in the middle of all this is "Pack."
Ha, ha! That is almost as funny as yesterday's list. I had to pay bills, rent my car for California, buy toilet paper because we were running out -- and, oh yes, in the middle of all that, I had written: "Get book ready so Leonard Pennario can see it."
That one task was a daylong ordeal because I kept taking things out thinking, "He'll hate this," or remembering things I forgot to include. It is funny how things don't strike you until the last minute. After that I was so stressed that Howard took pity on me and took me to Bob and John's for pizza. I will miss Bob and John's when I am in San Diego. They are my rock.
My departure date is closing in. Actually, it's tomorrow. For three nights now I have been dreaming fitful dreams about travel. Lastnight I dreamed I was in Paris with Howard and a bunch of people we knew. And immediately, upon arrival in Paris, I lost Howard. Tried to call him on his cell but that was no good, the rules were different in Europe, no end of aggravation. Slight relief when, in one of those hilarious dream footnotes you get, I saw the great conductor Arturo Toscanini walking into the hotel where I was staying. Toscanini was at my hotel! I thought that was neat.
That is how a music biographer dreams.
Then I wake up and things are back to normal, I'm in Buffalo, I've got to go to work, we are running out of dish soap, it's raining. Howard rejoices in the rain because it is good for his new lawn. He has put in a new lawn at Big Blue. It is the talk of downtown Buffalo.
The lawn at Big Blue is a tender yellow-green. It's this sweet baby grass and whenever I look at it I think of a beautiful little song by Robert Schumann about young, new grass. The name of the song is "Erstes Grun," which means "First Green," and it ends with a line about how feeling the grass makes your heart beat more calmly. Every single time I look at that lawn I think of that song. I keep wanting to explain that to Howard but where do you start.
Unfortunately I am afraid it will take more than the lawn at Big Blue to make my heart beat more calmly today!
I guess I should start packing.